School answering machine 

You have reached the automated answering service of your child’s school. In order

to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all options

before making a selection:

  • To stretch the truth about why your child is absent, Press 1.
  • To make excuses for why your child did not do homework, Press 2.
  • To complain about what we do, Press 3.
  • To cuss out staff members, Press 4.
  • To ask why you didn’t get needed information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and bulletins sent home with your child, Press 5.
  • To request another teacher for the third time this year, Press 6
  • To complain about school bus transportation, Press 7.
  • To complain about school lunches, Press 8.
  • To argue about documented test results, Press 9.
  • If you want us to raise your child, Press 0.

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable/responsible

for his/her own behavior, classwork, homework, and that it’s not the teachers

fault for your child(ren)’s lack of effort… Hang up and have a nice day!


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